 somebody PLEASE entertain MEEEEE. this is a story of my boring life. today.. i woke up late, so i decided not to take the bus to work. i changed quickly and ran out of the house and to my office. unfortunately, i overshot my office and ran right into china, so i turned around and ran back, getting a peking duck on the way for breakfast. when i reached the office, i accidentally saw my boss talking to my superior with my x-ray vision and supersensitive ears about me always disappearing from the office and was wondering if i was malingering. i always wanted to tell them that i was someone special, someone who no one wants to hire if they're a really busy company. but who the hell will? at 10, i heard gunshots somewhere in ang mo kio and i decided to rush down to see what was wrong. i was right. something was wrong. but being right about something wrong is just wrong, right? anyway, there was a bank robbery taking place in well.. the bank. knowing that singapore has no phone booth for me to change, (i realised a phone booth is as big as a dressing room. but everyone can see me changing, so why the hell did i change in a phone booth last time anyway?) i rushed to the nearest swimming pool dressing room. but by the time i changed, (wore my underwear INSIDE by mistake.. what a joke.) and got to the scene of the crime, the singapore police has already captured the bank robbers. wa.. singapore police not bad ah, efficient.. i was very sad then. since singapore had no godzillas(beach too small for them to step on), no aliens(no crops to create crop circles), no evildoers(singapore government bigger than all opposition), i had to be faster than those police to catch those small time criminals. maybe i should wear my suit inside my work clothes.. BUT SINGAPORE IS SO HOT. hello.. i was born in ice remember? why am i so kaypoh i heard you say? well.. i also dunno. i came here not because of the increasing crime rate here, but rather, the singapore government said it was ok for foreign talents to come and there're many job opportunities for us foreigners. but looking around, there doesn't seem to be any opportunity for my REAL job scope.. maybe mickey mouse has an advantage because of the IR coming up at sentosa. but that's it.. he's a jok.. i mean entertainer. and i'm a superhero. HOW CAN I SURVIVE IN SINGAPORE LIKE THAT? after that, there had been no robberies whatsoever during the day. after work, i went to meet lou yi lane for dinner. i have no idea why i don't want to ask her to be my girlfriend, maybe because i'm afraid that she'll find out i wear my underwear outside.. maybe i should just switch to boxers. oh well. after dinner, i ran back home to catch my 9pm channel 8 show, surfed the net for awhile, and went to sleep. see, told you my life was boring. KICKED ASS AT 10/19/2006 01:04:00 PM. |
ME hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE... OTHER MEs. cheap shoes!! vic paul miss phua jocheben jasmine beckie isabelle germaine joy gay ben yo. manuel mark camilia cat sophie isa rach incredible tales.. of xiaoming do you like to talk cock? blogger GREETINGS.. BUAY PAISEH AH 
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