 today, i am a chao ah beng. i lub my xiaolian_86 n i wan 2 spend my life luving her mua*mua* i lub chu 4eva n eva!~** will u be my honey dearest*? ~*i live in hougang n lub to jia zua wit my brudders at my void deck*~ if u not happy can come find us n we go pia zui i love techno, if no techno i sure die one if no techno, i bring my MP3 player wit my speaker come blast at void deck wit my brudders. i love to zao school school is damn sian teacher not happy i walk out last time, we go hougang plaza to pak pool. den last mth some ah beng bio my xiaolian_86 (mua*mua*) i take pool stick n hoot him now dunno y cannot go back hg plaza pak pool alr. neh mind, the pool table there louya also. now i go ssc n pak pool. lagi best. high crass sia KICKED ASS AT 10/21/2006 09:47:00 PM. somebody PLEASE entertain MEEEEE. this is a story of my boring life. today.. i woke up late, so i decided not to take the bus to work. i changed quickly and ran out of the house and to my office. unfortunately, i overshot my office and ran right into china, so i turned around and ran back, getting a peking duck on the way for breakfast. when i reached the office, i accidentally saw my boss talking to my superior with my x-ray vision and supersensitive ears about me always disappearing from the office and was wondering if i was malingering. i always wanted to tell them that i was someone special, someone who no one wants to hire if they're a really busy company. but who the hell will? at 10, i heard gunshots somewhere in ang mo kio and i decided to rush down to see what was wrong. i was right. something was wrong. but being right about something wrong is just wrong, right? anyway, there was a bank robbery taking place in well.. the bank. knowing that singapore has no phone booth for me to change, (i realised a phone booth is as big as a dressing room. but everyone can see me changing, so why the hell did i change in a phone booth last time anyway?) i rushed to the nearest swimming pool dressing room. but by the time i changed, (wore my underwear INSIDE by mistake.. what a joke.) and got to the scene of the crime, the singapore police has already captured the bank robbers. wa.. singapore police not bad ah, efficient.. i was very sad then. since singapore had no godzillas(beach too small for them to step on), no aliens(no crops to create crop circles), no evildoers(singapore government bigger than all opposition), i had to be faster than those police to catch those small time criminals. maybe i should wear my suit inside my work clothes.. BUT SINGAPORE IS SO HOT. hello.. i was born in ice remember? why am i so kaypoh i heard you say? well.. i also dunno. i came here not because of the increasing crime rate here, but rather, the singapore government said it was ok for foreign talents to come and there're many job opportunities for us foreigners. but looking around, there doesn't seem to be any opportunity for my REAL job scope.. maybe mickey mouse has an advantage because of the IR coming up at sentosa. but that's it.. he's a jok.. i mean entertainer. and i'm a superhero. HOW CAN I SURVIVE IN SINGAPORE LIKE THAT? after that, there had been no robberies whatsoever during the day. after work, i went to meet lou yi lane for dinner. i have no idea why i don't want to ask her to be my girlfriend, maybe because i'm afraid that she'll find out i wear my underwear outside.. maybe i should just switch to boxers. oh well. after dinner, i ran back home to catch my 9pm channel 8 show, surfed the net for awhile, and went to sleep. see, told you my life was boring. KICKED ASS AT 10/19/2006 01:04:00 PM. in the year 2099, 1. i'd be dead 2. robots will rule the world 3. robots will have already mastered singlish and use it evidently 4. robot ah bengs will take over human ah bengs 5. that's cuz robot ah bengs would have a wider range of hokkien in their vocabulary and thus outspeak human ah bengs 6. haze will be taken over by smog. 7. north korea's nuclear weapons in 2099 would hurt as much as someone pinching you today cuz there's a new doomsday device in the making. 8. a new leader will arise in the US bringing about the popular slogan: a bird in our hands is worth 2 in bush's. this slogan will be inserted into a new song sung to the tune of fergie's london bridge. 9. fergie's london bridge will be played on radio station 90.5fm because it's a classic. 10. there'll be an ah beng Mr. Anderson aka Neo whose real name is Mr. Macpherson aka Niu and prophercy states that he'll liberate human ah bengs all over the world from the robot ones. 11. those deemed "old school" in 2006 will be renamed as "ancient school" 12. singapore's prime minister's name is PM Lee 13. vivocity would be considered a mama shop compared to other shopping malls 14. singapore ah bengs will have their own techno idol. this time a chinese will win 15. "zhng my spacecraft" 16. singapore still has national service. (MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA) 17. schools will look like changi prison 18. changi prison will look like hotels 19. and hotels will look like schools. 20. i'll be dead. KICKED ASS AT 10/18/2006 10:28:00 AM. .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: how have u been? Hello, I am So Berry Cool. says: pretty alright Hello, I am So Berry Cool. says: you? .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: bored.. .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: dead bored. .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: wait.. .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: just dead. .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: n bored .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: n dead bored .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: so bored i changed my template! .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: yay-ness .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: n did i mention i'm hilarious .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: i crack myself up .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: wahhahahaa.. .ben tan han kun. i wanna run, skip, hop, jump, sprint, walk.. again says: damn. ---- the reason why you should ignore me when i start a convo with you. IF you noticed, i changed my blog skin. :) IF you're smart, you know i must be dead bored that i changed my blog template and blogged both AT THE SAME TIME! why the sudden enthusiasm ben? (btw, go buy 4d, sure strike one.) that's cuz i am crippled! yessireeeeeebob. i just underwent an op on fri to fix my ankle and i am now crippled, on crutches and am dead bored. i've been stuck at home for days and i have nothing but a blog to contend with.. not that it took me hours to change it, it just took me hours to choose it. i like this, plain, simple and chocolatey.. aye? and my stupid tagboard's screwed up so i changed it.. and now it's lonely! just like me. and ohhhh! did you read my profile (well sort of..) i'm hilarious! i crack myself up. hurhur.. let's see.. there's 5 places i could go to in the world right now.. to my room, to the study room, to the kitchen, to the living room and to the toilet. and what have i been doing? sleeping on the computer watching tv eat grow fat and read speaking of which.. i'm reading a book now (yes i can read in case you are wondering you numbskull) titled: why men.. (err.. something, i'm too crippled to get the book now), and women can't read maps.. (THAT i can remember.) anyway, this book is about the difference between men and women. in case you didn't know, there is a biological difference between men and women. (not just physically, you're thinking of them already aren't you?) that's about what i'm gonna say about the book. i won't tell you the rest for fear of being sued. na i'm just lazy oh man.. i'm typing too much.. i shall go watch rowan atkinson on youtube now! he's hilarious.. like me. 'nuff said KICKED ASS AT 10/17/2006 08:40:00 PM. |
ME hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE... OTHER MEs. cheap shoes!! vic paul miss phua jocheben jasmine beckie isabelle germaine joy gay ben yo. manuel mark camilia cat sophie isa rach incredible tales.. of xiaoming do you like to talk cock? blogger GREETINGS.. BUAY PAISEH AH 
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