 can you see? if you can't, HAH. but if u can't see, u won't be able to see the HAH in me. i've not appreciated sleep in a long time. in other words, i've not slept soundly in a long time. how does it feel? so damn good. someday, i should get my brother to take photos of me sleeping, so i can enjoy the pleasure of me enjoying myself. narcissistic? well, you can say that. weird? VERY. KICKED ASS AT 7/24/2004 08:54:00 PM. i'm a loner. do not come near me. yea. it's true. i've lost all hope in things. friends aren't what they are anymore. i'm paranoid. i feel like devoting my time to train so that i can enter commandos. hopefully i'll die there. but at least i won't have such troubles. i'll be too immersed in what i'm doing that reminising won't be the thing for me anymore. there's a pre-competition dinner tomorrow, and someone asked me to go. FOR WHAT? i'm not even competing. what's more. i do not wish to see some people there. yes. i've lost all hope in their friendship. yes i have. and not just that. i've lost hope in school too. i suck at my results. i'm a quitter. i'm friendless now. i see some people whom i recognise but don't acknowledge them. YES it's ON PURPOSE. i hope i'll never get to see you ever again after i graduate! you make me realise how stupid i am. just wish i could just die right here right now. don't care about death now. it's just another phase. what i'm experiencing is worse than death. i'd rather not think than to think of all these shit. excuse me while i go kill myself. KICKED ASS AT 7/23/2004 06:49:00 PM. approx 7 weeks left till preliminary examinations. disappointed. loneliness is catching up with me. ppl keep telling me that love is like a butterfly. the more you chase it, the more difficult it is to catch it. but if u just stood still. it'll naturally fly to you. or stuff like true love is a test for patience. maybe it's true. but really. is it that difficult? my life is in a total mess.. and i don't have anyone to confide in. i mean, these things aren't meant to be shared with parents. it's like, i'll know they'll tell me stuff i dun wanna hear. well, i just want someone just to be there for me. apparently, no one is there for me anymore. not that i'm complaining that my friends aren't trustworthy enough to know my feelings. it's just that.. ah what m i ranting about? i'm probably fated to die an early death anyway. i'm bottling up all my feelings inside of me that i just get irritated over the simplest things. no one to spill my troubles to. i'm sliding into depression, surrendering to fate. see me jumping around? i'm faking. see me smiling widely? i'm hiding a frown. see me laugh over silly things? i need the simplest things to destress. somebody help me please.. i'm falling and i can't get up. KICKED ASS AT 7/22/2004 09:15:00 PM. i hate people: 1. who think i'm still a small boy. although i may look like and/or behave like one, it doesn't give you the right to goo goo and gaa gaa me. you'll never see the light of day. 2. who think they are superior and they are above the rest therefore, they deserve to be treated with the utmost respect. screw you. 3.who think they have the backup of an underground secret society, they can throw their weight around and (4.) 4. who think just because they have a higher authority, they can throw their weight around. GET A LIFE. 6. who like the no. 5. 7. who follow the trend aimlessly. 8. who think they are original. 9. who contradict themselves. 10. who chase 'idols'. seriously, don't you have anything else better to do? 11. who are 'idols'. we call them false gods. they ought to burn in hell for that. 12. who backstab, frontstab, sidestab, diagonalstab. whatever. you guys suck. 13. who are fakers. who think they are from the national track team but can't even qualify for a bloody cjc track and field meet. losers. 14. who think they've got the girl they like tho' the girl hasn't said anything abt being together with him. posers. 16. who like the no. 5 17. who has the girl but can't even treat her well. you deserve to be eaten by maggots. 18. who think they are smart and offer you "pearls of wisdom" wisdom my a** 19. who make life difficult for others. either by squelching their dreams, hopes or just by being bastards in their lives. 20. who think life is good. HAH. carry on dreaming. HOWEVER, i love people: 1. who think life is good. carry on dreaming. hope you'll realise them. 2. who make me happy just because they want to. bless you. 3. who bring warmth to my heart and give me the fuzzy feeling inside. aww. 4. who are willing to sacrifice their time for my sake. (esp. my parents.) 6. who hate the no. 5. 7. who sit on swings, play on see-saws, silde down slides regardless of their age. 8. who try to cheer me up when i'm down. 9. who listen to me. 10. who find meaning in my existence here on earth. 11. whom i hold dear to. 12. who let me leave halfway, knowing and trusting i'll return. 13. who laugh at the most childish things. 14. who laugh at themselves. 16. who hate the no. 5. 17. who accompanied me "through hell and back" 18. who dance to music. 19. who are crazy in their own way. 20. who find life ain't that meaningless after all. KICKED ASS AT 7/21/2004 09:14:00 PM. Cuz I want it all Or nothing at all There's nowhere left to fall When you reach the bottom it's now or never Is it all Or are we just friends Is this how it ends With a simple telephone call You leave me here with nothing at all KICKED ASS AT 7/21/2004 07:43:00 PM.
Commandos.Commandos have one of the most challenging jobs in the Army. They are expected to succeed on missions where others cannot.Known as deep-raid Specialists, they strike far inside enemy lines using airborne landings, helicopter assaults and sea landings. As experts in infiltration and reconnaissance operations, they observe and report on enemy's activities, and when necessary, sabotage their operations using their demolition skills.As you can imagine, not everyone is cut out for this.You will undergo demanding mental and physical training to attain top combat fitness, exceptional leadership skills, unbreakable mental strength, lightning reflexes, and razor-sharp intelligence.As part of an elite fighting force, and in recognition of your exceptional qualities, you will wear the prestigious red beret and carry the coveted stiletto as symbols of honour.KICKED ASS AT 7/18/2004 03:57:00 PM. |
ME hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE... OTHER MEs. cheap shoes!! vic paul miss phua jocheben jasmine beckie isabelle germaine joy gay ben yo. manuel mark camilia cat sophie isa rach incredible tales.. of xiaoming do you like to talk cock? blogger GREETINGS.. BUAY PAISEH AH 
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