Thursday, May 25, 2006

there's a danger in loving somebody too much

I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

----------------

truth hurts.
it hurts when they tell you you aren't cut out for the job
it hurts when they tell you that eventually you'll fail, and you did.


currently, it hurts the most when you play the role of a good guy, knowing that you'd be affected negatively in the end.

it's great and all that you are feeling on top of the world right now, that you have followed my advice and got what you wanted.

i love to see that smile across your face when you finally made your decision, how you jumped for joy when you announced to me he is the one, how much happier you'd be in future had things go the way you expected it to.

but it cuts me to the deep knowing that it's not what i really wanted to happen, knowing that i didn't understand what i said to you that night, why i said that to you, i didn't know.

didn't you have the least bit feeling that i was hurting inside? that i forced myself to say that as long as you get what you wanted.. that i made myself a fool to you..

what was i thinking.. there's never a me in your chapters. i'm extremely foolish to think of it that way. you'd never have me in your thoughts and i'd never have a place in your heart.

well.. good for you that you have that lovin feeling.. i'm happy for you.

:)

KICKED ASS AT 5/25/2006 10:01:00 PM.

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Sunday, May 21, 2006

sometimes i wonder..
what would my life be like with you around?
was it any better than now?
or would it be worse than what you are experiencing now?
i won't ever forget "cheap bastards",
but i'll forgive.

it's my nature.

i've always thought that it'd be so wonderful to have you around.
not now.
i'll think of things 1000000 times more wonderful without having you around.
so far it's 999999.

i'll make sure i accomplish more than you will ever have,
i'll stick this no matter what.
i'll make sure i'm a million times happier than you'll ever be.
it's not hatred that's driving me this way, no.
think of it as a motivation, you're my motivator, a passive one.

in time, i'll make decisions that are worth a million bucks or more,
own a million and one things and more.
while you are just sitting, watching the television, waiting for dinner.
told you so, you're gonna be my motivator, a passive one.

my loved one will be a million and one times more beautiful on the inside than you are,
a million and one times prettier than you'll ever want to be,
and a million and one times better in everything you do, period.
cuz you have been my motivator.
thanks.

KICKED ASS AT 5/21/2006 01:23:00 AM.

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ME
hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE...

OTHER MEs.
cheap shoes!!
vic
paul
miss phua
jocheben
jasmine
beckie
isabelle
germaine
joy
gay
ben yo.
manuel
mark
camilia
cat
sophie
isa
rach
incredible tales.. of xiaoming
do you like to talk cock?
blogger

GREETINGS..







BUAY PAISEH AH


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