Saturday, January 05, 2008

Movie Review on Alien vs Predator II

I'm gonna start off blogging in the new year with a movie review!

If you ever wondered what movie could be worse than curse of the golden crysanthemum (check previous blog post), Alien vs. Predator I would be it.

If you ever wondered what movie could be worse than Alien vs. Predator I (check the movie out.), Alien vs. Predator II would be the ONE.

So, i'd give the movie a rating of 0.0000000000000001^99999999999999999 upon 5 popcorns, 5 being the best show ever made in history, and 1 being the show i'll never watch during history lesson.

top ten reasons why you shouldn't watch alien vs. predator II:

10: there is no plot, just mindless killing, even south park has mindless killing WITH a plot.

9: there is minimal/no character buildup. when i thought that the character in the story won't die because i got to know a little about the character, 5 minutes later, the alien/predator kills him/her. you call that twist in the story, i call it being stupid. spoiler alert*: everyone in the city dies except for a few others who escaped because the government dropped a bomb on it.

8: everything happened in the night or in the sewers. night = poor lighting. it was so dark, for all i know, the alien and predator fighting are only taking a smoke in the show while the fighting sounds were heard.

7: oh, did i mention there's love in the plot? no? well, because there isn't.

6: oh, and did i mention there's elements of comedy in the plot? no? because there isn't.

5: i hate it when there was no subtitles for predator language.. what the hell did it say when it wanted to self-destruct? "tell my momma i love he..." boom*

4: a dog died in the show! (which is why i came to hate I Am Legend.. but at least that show had a plot)

3: if you are an alien, the show should have been rated R21, technically, aliens had sex with humans (pregnant ones too).

2: if you think the alien/predator hybrid would have inherited the superior genes of both sides, it would be smart enough to get the weapons of the predator it killed. but it didn't. so if you are looking for a spouse so that your kid can inherit the dimple on his/her cheek, don't bother.

and the number 1 reason why you shouldn't watch alien vs predator II: there is no plot; i can't emphasize that enough.






kids, it's not even worth downloading.

KICKED ASS AT 1/05/2008 01:58:00 AM.

shoutout:

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ME
hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE...

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