 courtesy of ben and reuben productions:  noticed anything? if you don't, well, don't ever check back. it's too hard on your brain. KICKED ASS AT 7/15/2004 10:43:00 PM. i was climbing up mount fuji this morning. part of my daily jap routine exercise in my INNOVATED IN JAPAN, MADE IN CHINA asics feather shoe. legend has it that some romanian tennis star player's shoes are hidden in the great mountain and only THE worthy one would achieve such incredible shoes. don't laugh. these pair of shoes possess a magic so powerful, it will overcome the evil that is plaguing the world today. the rise of NIKE DUNK.  i mean, look at the color!! ew.. =P part of my motive for this daily climb to mount fuji is to search for this incredible pair of shoes. otherwise, i would rather stay at home playing SAMURAI WARRIORS on my MADE IN JAPAN playstation 2 and listening to power rangers soundtrack. however, after months of searching, nothing appeared. not even the footprints of the shoes have surfaced. today seemed to be special, for fate certainly smiled on me today.. while i carelessly dropped my 10 yen, i fumbled to pick up the note/coin (whatever form the 10 yen is in.) but what's this? a glint amongst the bushes caught my eye. i approached the densely thick bushes to investigate whether some couples were doing it behind the bushes but look! it's the LEGENDARY Natase Sup IV shoes!  i bowed in awe of the sight of those shoes and started crying.. i thanked the japanese gods for giving me such honour to possess such power. *ancient jap voice* it izane HONAR, to possess such an HONARABLE shoe. ever since i played just like the tennis pro n the end. (this story's getting too far) KICKED ASS AT 7/14/2004 08:09:00 PM. pre-result release trauma. wanna know what's part of the reason why i'm gonna fail my cts? (not that i'm putting the blame on this person, i'm just amused by my decision not to give a damn about the exams) sat 26th july 2004, two days b4 my papers started, i was in town with a pretty lady in my SCHOOL UNIFORM. that's right, i was probably the ONLY one left in town donned in my uniform. want visual proof? well, i don't have any. but MR. spy-on-ben-so-he-can-tell-ben's-parents-the-reason-why-he-failed-his-cts-was-not-because-of-amnesia has them. so i shall leave MR. spy-on-ben-so-he-can-tell-ben's-parents-the-reason-why-he-failed-his-cts-was-not-because-of-amnesia over to you while i go think of excuses to give brother paul why i failed.(gotta get a better reason than amnesia.) HI! i haven't been properly introduced. i'm mr. pay-to-spy, aka MR. spy-on-ben-so-he-can-tell-ben's-parents-the-reason-why-he-failed-his-cts-was-not-because-of-amnesia. i was tipped off by an anonymous person that a particular cjcian was spotted in town in his uniform. when i checked it out, the anonymous tipper was right. LO AND BEHOLD. it's BENJAMIN TAN and he is out in town when there was exams approaching then in 2 days time! normally, i get paid doing this kind of job. but the pleasure to see ben in bro. paul's office again is all the payment i need. anyway, what he did to me that deserved such a punishment is confidential. there's no need for you to know, damn busybody. anyway, he was 1st spotted in sch in the morning, obviously to console himself that he'd be doing some studying b4 going home to sleep. obviously, from where i was hiding,(behind the computer teminals at the foyer) i could tell he failed. my cover was almost blown when he gave up studying and approached the computer nearest to mine. he looked like he was downloading porn, but judging that the school has the brains to disable access to such sites because of horny bastards like him, he'd known better than to hook up with a hooker using the school terminal. anyway, the server's so slow that downloading pictures would take a lifetime, let alone videos. i know that because i tried it. anyway, he left for town at noon after finding out that the school terminals cannot be used to hook up girls with a couple of his friends whom by my judgement, has also failed to study. that isn't the juicy part because my camera was under repairs and i was due to take it back from the camera shop at 4pm. when i've gotten my camera, i decided to tail him a little longer, just so until he reaches home. knowing him, he'd probably have his conscience struck him at that time to proceed home to study. found him at junction 8 at 430 after tracking him on GPS(global positioning system or something liddat). HEY, we're high tech k? the more reason to hire us. anyway, his bus was approaching but wait! what's this? his picked up his mobile phone, and.. he's not boarding the bus! he was walking to the mrt instead! i tailed him and saw him taking the train to somerset! and he met a friend there! this was too good to be true, i thanked heaven for having my camera repaired at the right time. he was shopping with this particular girl i've vaguely seen b4 at mng. that's right. typical shopping. then i spotted them walking around town. and i pretended to be a camera buff and asked them for pictures. they stupidly agreed. not knowing that ben's life is gonna change once i showed them to brother paul! muahaha. anyway, here's the pic:  ain't exactly the yandao eh? but the image was blurred. i need SOLID evidence he was in town so i took another. .jpg) i gave up, thinking that the ugliness was inborn and not the camera's fault, i thanked them and walked off. after roaming around streets, they decided to have tea at a cafe. rich-and-plenty-of-time ben was eating at this cafe?! i decided it was time to take action.  looks like she ordered some poisonous drink. i remembered she said something like, this drink is human bone essence(what looked like lychee juice). i was shocked and aghast! i wasn't in a cafe, i was in some horrifying place which sells human drinks!!  evil ben is eating some sort of reddened human eyeball when i took this shot. i was disgusted. i prayed for the soul of the person he ate. but being the un-gentleman he is, he obviously ate b4 waiting for the evil woman's dish to be served. after 15 mins of bickering that she was allergic to the crushed bone sauce (what looked like mayo), she told the witch to change her food and also her drink, cuz apparently the human who died in her drink suffered from diabetes, making her drink too sweet. she sneered at ben saying something like her food had human meat.  my time is running out, ben's coming back. i shall close off soon. anyway, he was still in town at night, meeting with another of what looked like an evil woman.  apparently, they were heading to eat some "subway" or something like that. unable to bear the sight, i left with the memories edged into my brains. urgh.. KICKED ASS AT 7/11/2004 08:41:00 PM. |
ME hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE... OTHER MEs. cheap shoes!! vic paul miss phua jocheben jasmine beckie isabelle germaine joy gay ben yo. manuel mark camilia cat sophie isa rach incredible tales.. of xiaoming do you like to talk cock? blogger GREETINGS.. BUAY PAISEH AH 
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