 omg.. i can't believe you said that you can't possibly go out with just one guy. i really can't believe you said that. KICKED ASS AT 12/08/2004 07:00:00 PM. let me love you. KICKED ASS AT 12/08/2004 01:25:00 PM.
The One With me.seriously, have i changed alot? i need your comments especially those who've known since day one of school.as for my own point of view, i think i've changed from a monster..  to a.. well.. a MAN.  oops.. wrong picture. but since i'm showing you this pic, let me digress a bit. while i took this picture, i was watching smurfs at the same time. (yes you heard correctly, it's smurfs, those blue gay monsters which are 3 apples tall. how pathetic) anyway, coincidentally, a smurf looked like the photo of me above.  k it's not gonna be difficult, but spot the smurf. anw, back to my entry. oops wrong picture. seriously, i've changed to suit my environment in cjc and i've grown to love more people and hate more people too. yea, that's the end of the entry, just wanna show you the picture i took this afternoon with andrea's flower. ------------------ it's been 2 days and you haven't contacted me since that moment. KICKED ASS AT 12/06/2004 11:47:00 PM.
tears in my eyes.sometimes, things aren't what they always seem to be. it seems as if i've got my life together already, helping out in church activities, meeting up with lots of friends, having lots of time before going to hell, always a smiling face. beneath all that are a bundled load of crap waiting to be sorted out. family problems rampaging through the house, friendship and other problems scouring through my mind. might sound so typical in a teenage drama life but FUCK! i'm already 18! closing my sorry ass life as a teen but i keep getting these fucking problems! dad's a fucking pain in the ass cuz he keeps thinking he's superior and stuff and that we are always leaving him behind. always making mom cry over SHIT things and swearing at my bro n his wife. if he isn't my dad, my tolerance level would have been at a boiling point right now. but fuck. he IS my dad. after all, he's brought all of us up with such commitment i hardly find in some dads. but all these that are happening now doesn't seem worth it to bring up the past to compensate for the now. it's all the pretence that i hate most in him. pretending that our family is perfect in the eyes of the outsiders. that we have no problem with each other. ESPECIALLY YESTERDAY. and my brother's wedding too. fuck, he had me fooled that we're finally bonded together. we're not. we're FAR from being a FAMILY. having a bro who's travelling overseas and knows shit about our current situation now doesn't exactly help much either. it's like, a nightmare i cannot wake up from. always living in fear. always hoping he'd be working and always will be out when he reaches home. seriouslly, i need all the help i can get. it must be the fucking job he's holding on to now which makes him so damn suspicious of the things around him. OH WHY DID I HAVE TO APPEAR IN THIS GODDAMN WORLD!? why can't my dad be a happy-go-lucky dad who's not TOO streetwise? amongst all of those shit he's making us go through now, i can't just lose my cool at him. not after all he's done for us. well, at least in the past 18 years. why does growing up have to be so tedious? WHY must i admire other people's fathers and be ashamed of my own? WHY does he hafta do the things he's doing now? i need help.. pls help me..KICKED ASS AT 12/06/2004 11:51:00 AM. figuratively, today was the happiest and the saddest day of my life. seems like walking with u is sucha difficult task. dodging every single person we know and it's what happened at the esplanade which made me one of the saddest person in this world. ---------------------- did i hear you right? cause i thought you said let's think it over you have been my life and i never planned growing old without you shadows bleeding through the light where the love once shined so bright came without a reason don't let go on us tonight love's not always black and white haven't I always loved you? but when i need you you're almost here and i know that's not enough and when i'm with you i'm close to tears cause you're only almost here i would change the world if i had a chance oh won't you let me treat me like a child throw your arms around me oh please protect me bruise and battered by your words days are shattered, how it hurts oh, haven't I always loved you? but when i need you you're almost here and i know that's not enough and when i'm with you i'm close to tears cause you're only almost here bruise and battered by your words days are shattered, now it hurts haven't i always loved you? but when I need you you're almost here well i never knew how far behind i'd left you and when i hold you you're almost here well i'm sorry that i took our love for granted and now i'm with you i'm close to tears cause i know i'm almost here only almost here KICKED ASS AT 12/05/2004 01:41:00 AM. |
ME hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE... OTHER MEs. cheap shoes!! vic paul miss phua jocheben jasmine beckie isabelle germaine joy gay ben yo. manuel mark camilia cat sophie isa rach incredible tales.. of xiaoming do you like to talk cock? blogger GREETINGS.. BUAY PAISEH AH 
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