Saturday, August 26, 2006
i can't help feeling that you've found someone new.
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i met a couple of small kids (1 chinese and 1 indian. not that i'm being racist. it really was like that. REALLY LAH.) today who can't wait to grow up, so in the end, they resorted to getting others to buy alcohol for them.
so cute
one of them approached me and my friend while we were shopping for stuff for bbq in ntuc, asking us if we were above eighteen. they didn't look like survey takers.. so i said yes
and the convo was as follows:
small chinese kid (imagine kiddy and spastic voice): can help us buy modka?
me and my friend (in unison): HUH?! mocha?
small chinese kid: MODka! MODka!
(thinking for a while...) me: OHHH.. you mean VODka?
small kids: ah ya ya ya...
me: eh, but how old are you 2?
small chinese kid: oh i sixteen and he seventeen, den we cannot buy yet lah.
*in my mind*: YOU? sixteen and seventeen? den i must look like i'm 10 then.
me: HUH.. why would you want to buy vodka at 3pm in the afternoon (kids..).. and WHY WOULD YOU DRINK IT IN THE 1ST PLACE?
small indian kid (HE FINALLY SPOKE) he's so cute he looks like he has 1 straight looooonggggg eyebrow across his head: AIYA.. natural what.. (natural your head lah)
and they started to walk off, thinking we wouldn't buy for them anyhow.
darn.. there were a million and one ways me and my friend thought of after that to disturb them..
1) bombard them with kaypoh adult questions: IC PLEASE, why your father or mother don't want to buy for you? you father and mother know or not? which (primary) school are you from? why you ask me and not that uncle? why you got 1 straight eyebrow across your head? so you think drinking MODka will make you look 18 lah? how you know i'm above 18? what if i'm younger than you? what if i call police? etc etc.
2) OHHHH MODka ah? can... i bring you go kopi-tiam, there got kopi seao dai.
3) you not scared that i'm michael jackson meh?
4) eh, your balls grow hair and you can pee straight then you come and look for us can?
and the list goes on.. why am i so slow when it comes to these things?
and i should have brought a video camera too..
dang.
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oh well.. i'm sleepy. it's 4 am in the morning.. n i think i'll go sleep my ass off already.. to be continued tomorrow.
KICKED ASS AT 8/26/2006 03:53:00 AM.
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ME
hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE...
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