Monday, December 13, 2004

of ah bengs and men.

of all the people in singapore, i cannot stand chao ah bengs and chao ah lians who cannot speak a proper sentence of ingrish without blurting out some hokkien words or distorting the english language.


FOR EXAMPLE...


*viewer's discretion: just picked this off a random blog and just showing it for entertainment purposes only. please dunch call your ah beng gang and han tam me k? *whimpers* *

"come back frm chalet lerx..it was damn fun nehs!next mondae gng dere again lerx..hees*haiz..miie haven buy books yet worrs..mus faster buy durin tish week liaox!next year gng to start soon...hab tu go tu skool again!haiz..sad lehs!i dun wanna go skool larx..it jus simply suxs xia..!sobx..
skool suxs to e core man!i oso dun lyk girls brigade lehs..saturdae hab to go..sianx ar!!!kayye lerx larx..nth much tu write lerx..buhbye :p "


OMG!







OMFG!







OMFGG!!!!!!







shan't say more. i'll give you a few minutes to go puke before continuing to read this entry.

don't get me wrong, i love my chao ah beng friends. at least they don't expose their utmost high standards of intelligence to the world and defacing the english language as well as singapore's reputation of a metropolis.

heh. i gotta admit that i'm prone to speaking such sentences whenever i'm not thinking.. well hey, i hate myself anyway.

another characteristic of a chao ah beng/lian.

their nicknames! their throat-wrenching, face-slapping, mind-freezing, stupid-emphasizing way of choosing their nicknames! and most nicknames usually follow an underscore with the year of their birth, or 69, or 666 (wow.. they even know what that means.)

don't get the idea?



FOR EXAMPLE...


*NB: you can find this everywhere, on irc, msn, blogs.. any similarity in the following names with the viewer's own is purely coincidental and it's not subjected to any biasness and such. anyway everyone's the same also so what the heck.*

funkyger_86, boiboi_87, pinkgurl_90, 5566rox_69, f44eva_92...

need i say more?


ANOTHER CHARACTERISTIC.

i know this is a little bit old fashioned but i still see this occasionally and that's finding vandalism on the back seats of the bus or on the seats.

done by our dear heartland kiddos who think that is cool and beautiful. dunno if they are trying to show their "artistic talents" or their "language superiority". oh do you think burning fire through the seats using a lighter leaving an imprint of a "smiley face" on the seat's cool? apparently these people do. words of everlasting love like "boiboi_87 and gerger_89 4eva" could turn into "boiboi_87 sucks big time!" in a matter of days. or "for a fun time, call minty_ger at 99956348"


so beware of such people! in case you are thinking of dropping by singapore to bask in the discounts of shopping or the singaporean girls, keep a lookout for such people.

for the boys, tight fit tee shirts and ugly pasar malam jeans are the most common dress codes of them ah bengs. accessories include HUGE chains hanging around their necks, huge ear sticks stuck to their ears, and blonde hair combed in a center-parted style. with cloth watches and fake stick on tattoos on their arms. they are mostly skinny and will always pick a fight with you when you stare at them.

for the girls, hair flooded with accessories like hair pins, clips etc, with elaborate make-up like those you see at desker road. funky earrings sticking out of every direction of the ear. wearing pink mini tee and micro skirt. those advanturous ones will wear socks which reach up to their knees and looks as if they are trying hard to hide their leg hairs. commonly found in photoprint shops taking neoprints with weird hand gestures.





again, this was a random picture found and i'm not affiliated to those people in any way.

anyway, THERE.

for both sexes, a elaborately modified handphone with lights spraying out of every direction while playing cheena music by SHE or 5566 or even F4 is the in thing for them.

you've been warned. keep away from them.

KICKED ASS AT 12/13/2004 11:18:00 PM.

shoutout:

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ME
hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE...

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