
Friday, July 09, 2004
somehow or rather, i feel like i'm gonna regret not going to the retreat tomorrow. either my friends are gonna tell me how fun it was, or my day's gonna be so lousy that i'd wished i was there just to escape from it all. the reason of not going? well.. there are a few:
1. the reason i wrote down was that i have band prac tmr. which is true.
2. i just dun wanna see some people there. just in case i get into a group with them. which is often the case, judging from how sway i am. yea i know, from the last retreat till now, i've made enemies. well not exactly.. just dun wanna see them that's all. not as if they cared anyway.
3. i just realised that in most of the camps i go to, the end of it will mean that either i'll like a girl, but that girl won't, or the girl'll like me, but i won't. it's been the case. no, i'm not bragging. i'm seriously sick of it. in the current dilemma i'm in now, i dun wanna risk another of this nonsense.
forgive me. it's not as if i do not trust in God anymore. just that, everything seems to go haywire now. people keep telling me things will go fine after the retreat and i'll leave the place after the allotted no. of days feeling refreshed. sure, i feel refreshed, but this refreshment lasted for a few days only. at the most a week or two. then i'll have to come back for another in a few months time to "charge up my battery". balderdash. it's like taking slimming pills. when you are slim enough after u took ur recommended dosage of pills but when u become fat again, you go looking for another product. to me, it's like a rip off. i'm sorry.
youth day celebrations were dumb. damn dumb. shouldn't have come today. "SHUT UP YOUR MOUTH!" HAH. william hung. you suck.
i wish life is one long holiday. no worries with a carefree attitude. happy go lucky has a totally different meaning. and at times i wish i was in some remote island off hawaii. CAREFREE. *hula hula*..
KICKED ASS AT 7/09/2004 08:16:00 PM.
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ME
hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE...
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