 once upon a time, there lived a boy called xiao ming. he grew up in a private house off bukit timah with his parents, a maid called suzy, and an insufferable younger brother, da ming. why his parents chose these names for their children remains a mystery. anyway, xiao ming's father's name is limpei and his mother's name is limbu. why their parents' chose to name their kids that, remains a deeper mystery, but fate laughed at their names and decided to bring those two together, thus xiao ming and da ming. (fate laughs again.) anyway, on with the story. this boy, xiao ming, as you can see, grew up in a high class environment. (private house in singapore deh..) everything he needed was at his beck and call. "auntie suzy!! where's my lunch??", "auntie suzy!! i can't find my underwear!!", "auntie suzy!! i wan to go and shit!", "auntie suzy!! i shit already! wipe my backside!!" (oh did i mention that his dad, limpei (hhahahaha..) owns a mercedes benz complete with hokkien music? i didn't? oh well.. now i did.) with all this luxury, xiao ming was missing somthing in his life. now what could it be? he wondered. now like every 7 year old kid, the government has mercilessly lashed out a law that all children must complete their primary school education. poor xiao ming has to leave his maid and survive in the vicious world out there. (ya, i'm SURE he misses his limpei and limbu ((AHHAHAHAHA)) ) anyway, his limpei and limbu was so busy with their work that they forgot to send xiao ming to the primary one enrolment programme. so the government decided to throw him into a school which has vacancies. namely, SBABps. short for SI BEI AH BENG primary school. (never heard of that school before right!? well neither have i.) we're diverting. anyway, as at every first day of a schooler's primary school life, parents are sure to be worried and will want to accompany their children's 1st day of school from morning till the afternoon. apparently, xiao ming's parents do not care about him at all and so sent their maid, suzy (the only decent name in this story) in their place. "auntie suzy!! why must i go to school!? why can't da ming go instead!!" "i dunno.. i work for your limbu and limpei (adds in a smirk), not for your singapore gah'men." "ahh! auntie suzy!! u veri the useless leh!" "sorri la.. reach school already! go go.. na your bag.. remember your lunch arh.. got everything? auntie suzy will wait at the gate for you ok? anything call me ok?" (did i also mention that xiao ming's family is so rich that they could afford a handphone for their maid and a pager for their dog, in case they run off for another bitch/man) ((and yes, the dog is a male)) the moment xiao ming stepped into the school, a blinding flash of light greeted him! as he peered through his closed eyelids, he noticed a group of shadows walking towards him wearing new uniforms. (it's the new uniforms that projected the blinding flash of light anyway.) little does xiao ming know that these group of people will be the ones who will change his life forever!! who exactly are they? why are they wearing blindingly white uniforms? where the hell is SBABps? can limpei and limbu (snigger) be my mommie and daddie?!?! all these questions will be answered in the next episode! KICKED ASS AT 6/10/2004 10:12:00 AM. |
ME hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE... OTHER MEs. cheap shoes!! vic paul miss phua jocheben jasmine beckie isabelle germaine joy gay ben yo. manuel mark camilia cat sophie isa rach incredible tales.. of xiaoming do you like to talk cock? blogger GREETINGS.. BUAY PAISEH AH 
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