KICKED ASS AT 4/16/2009 03:26:00 PM.
pictures that I randomly took cuz I thought the world is so amusingok people, if this is gonna bore you to tears, don't read it lah.it's Singapore's funniest home pictures! Contestant number 1:  THIS IS ME STUDYING! ME ACTUALLY STUDYING. ME ACTUALLY STUDYING ENGINEERING. ME SERIOUSLY ACTUALLY STUDYING ENGINEERING SERIOUSLY! *chokes* WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......... ya don't worry, this is a photoshopped picture where my face is superimposed onto some nerd studying engineering. i'm in SOCIOLOGY remember? :D Contestant No. 2  I know I posted this before, but it's damn funny right!!? Hokkien 101... haha teacher: ok, crasss, leeepeat after me, "KUA SIMI?" part time BEngs: KUA MIMI teacher: nononono you sibei toopid leh, it's "KUA SIMI?" part time BEngs: KUA LILI? teacher: wa lau &$&#%@*^# Contestant No. 3:  yet another photoshopped picture of me studying engineering, ZUN BO? Contestant No. 4:  awwwww.... Contestant No. 5:  me driving against the direction of the road.. Constestant No. 6: Part 1: Pay phone right? zoom in  Part 2:  the reason why you are using the pay phone is because you don't have a mobile phone right? HOW TO CALL!?!?!!?!?! Singaporeans are quite funny nowadays.. Ah Beng: eh! phone spoil siaaaa, so sway got no phone.. neh-my, I go to another phone and call them and tell them the phone spoil. *Walk 5 km* Ah Beng: errow? eh, your phone at citylink spoil lah, go repair *Walk back 5 km* *wait for phone to get repaired* Ah Beng: Finally can use the phone! *ring ring* Ah Beng: errow, mommy ah, I not going home for dinner hor. Contestant No. 7:  Indication that I need to lose weight Contestant No. 8: Picture was taken in the MRT train  Please give up your seats for: 1: Charlie Chaplin  2: Fat people like me who breaks chairs 3: Paedophiles *censored* Contestant No. 9:  CALAMARI WITH ITS VERY OWN STUFFED TENTACLES!! woo! *tentacles sold separately* *30 day money back guaranteed* CAST YOUR VOTES NOW! call 1900-gimme-$$ and stand a chance to win a calamari with its very own stuffed tentacles! KICKED ASS AT 1/18/2009 07:56:00 PM.
We Sing, We Dance, We Blog ThingsNew Year's resolution for 2009 (a bit late I know, but CUP HALF FULL PEOPLE (in case you're a bit hard on your eyesight, it means be optimistic!!):On University life: 1: DO readings at the very latest, before the tutorials! (failed miserably already) 2: Try NOT to skip lecture (failed miserably too) 3: Try to start on my essay assignments ASAP (going to fail miserably) 4: Create a fun and happy image that study is fun (failed, is failing, and will fail miserably) On social life: 5: Catch up with old friends (hands full, can't catch) 6: Less on facebook, more on facework (sociological term, check it out!) 7: Exercise more and get back my 6 pac (not beer or coca cola) 8a: Save enough money for future purposes (by future i mean Great Singapore Sale) 8b: Not spend too much money (you confused me there..) On blogging life: 9: Blog!! (actually, the reason why i'm blogging now is that I finally got a study table! creativity flows through your brains better when you are sitting upright instead of lying on the bed.. try it.) Ok, so i'm back on the blogging scene, thanks to jilun for showing me that blogging can be fun and scandalous :) if you haven't seen or met me since march 2008, I've been: - transferred to Sociology from Engineering (from SO jia lat to SOci! muahahaha) - transferred from no life to lagi no life - transferred from 21 to 22 years old ok so i digress, back to my blogging, been wanting to do something like this for a really long time, and if i could help it, along with a niffy camera and a few dancer wannabes, I might be able to actually do this:  That's right! uni-versity musical! without my state of the art technology and my dancer wannabes, I cannot do the actual thing BUT what i can offer is lyrics to the songs done my own way: so SING ALONG EVERYONE! thanks to youtube you've got music to sing along with! We're All In This (Shit) Together (Sung to We're All In This Together) Together, together, together everyone Together, together, come on let's have some fun Together, we're there for lecture every time Together together come on lets do this right Here and now it's time for condemnation I finally figured it out (yeah yeah) That all our work have no limitations I hope I don't TABAO Everyone is mugging in their own way We give each other stress(wa, sibei stress!) We're not the same We're different from those Ah Tiongs Chao mugging's where we belong We're all in this (shit) together Once we fail That we know Can't TABAO And we see that We're all in this (shit) together And it shows Where we stand Cannot man Wait for 3 month break! Together, together, together everyone Together, together, come on let's stay in hall Together, we're there for mahjong every time Together together come on let's play tonight! We're all here and waiting for 179 we're going to NTU(sibei far!) the lecture's on now everybody take your pen come on copy down! We've arrived cause we can't go NUS STUPID one and all We're all in this together Once we know We can't go NUS or SMU We're all in this together And it shows Buay tahan Si bei xiong What to S/Uuuuuu? We're all in this together When we reach We're too shack Go inside We fall asleep We're all in this together Once we see There's no chance To change school And we sian diaooooo Ah tiongs, SING WHAT SING? Yeah, you really sibei noisy Ah tiongs STOP SINGING Everybody buay tahan Ah tiongs everywhere Throw a stone you hit one there That's the way we do it Let's go JP Time to eat SUBWAY We're all in this (shit) together Once we fail That we know Can't TABAO And we see that We're all in this (shit) together And it shows Where we stand Cannot man Wait for 3 month break! We're all in this (shit) together When we reach We're too shack Go inside We fall asleep We're all in this (shit) together Once we see There's no chance To change school And we sian diaooooo Ah tiongs everywhere Throw a stone you hit one there That's the way we do it Let's go JP Time to eat SUBWAY Come on everyone! everybody sing along!! okok, took me long enough, part 2 coming soon k? good luck for those going to school tomorrow! TGIF! KICKED ASS AT 1/15/2009 11:00:00 PM.
CB!!!!!before I start on this blog, I wanna thank those people who BOTHERED to tag. :D props to you angie, becky and bEcLoVeD (whoever you are :D)in case you guys are wondering what CB stands for.. i'll tell you.. Controversial Ben! yup. i hope you're not thinking what i hope you should not be thinking, cuz if you're thinking that thing, i will think that your thinking needs a little bit more thinking that what you are already thinking. think about it. anyway, so why am i controversial? because i only buy stuffs that are controversial FOR EXAMPLE! (remember kids! always give examples to support your stand!)  a cool mao zedong tiled file at only $10 in CK Tangs! it's sooooo cool, even the man's wearing shades!  the no. 2 controversial item: a PatSaysNow sexayeeeeeee.. wait for it... MOUSE. no prizes for guessing where're the click buttons. better not put the price for it, lest i get knocked on the head by anyone who thinks this is not worth the price i pay which is $60. there's another item but i forgot to take a picture of it, ain't much of a camwhore these days but some of you might have seen me wearing it around. it's my adidas tee of a marilyn monroe lookalike, only this girl's a whole lot sexier. I swear heads turn (in more ways than one) whenever they see this shirt.. ah well, that's it for today! back to rushing my reports due on my birthday.. "On the 1st day of my birthday NTU gave to me: 3 assignments, 2 big fat tests, and a partridge in a pear tree." KICKED ASS AT 3/12/2008 03:07:00 PM.
 you're welcome again :) KICKED ASS AT 1/17/2008 03:57:00 PM.
shoutout:
Post a Comment Just a couple of random pictures if you bothered to come here. :) k k .. thanks for visiting anyway :D  lazily looking at the signboard in NTU while waiting for the lift and guess what?  they have part time beng courses! imagine that. courses on, swearing 101, techno music composition, hokkien language level 1,2,3,4, practical lessons, fashion, attachments at car workshops, secondary schools, sparks disco (if it's still there.. never had a chance to go. and i so wanted to lah.), exchange programmes to malaysia, china, etc, how-to-jio-ah-lians 101. so many courses to take lah! i wonder if they have part time seng courses too..  top says " thank you, your receipt " well, i was hoping that they'd call me "your highness" or "your majesty". but maybe if "your receipt" is equilivent to that, i won't mind.. and finally, something which i thought of while taking a piss...  i know, guys think of the weirdest things while pissing, but this was just done in celebration of installing photoshop in my laptop! skip-a-dee-doo-da-yay. oh, and i dunno if i'm lagging or not (i'm a dinosaur now when it comes to blogging..), but blogger can post videos! how cool lah. introducing, my very good friend cum fail-at-being-a-magician: DAVID CUPANDFEEL for those of you who can't see it using blogger videos, him training and him going professional, this is not made by me, but it's FRIGGING hilarious! check out "david blaine"'s eyes all in all, i think i've just wasted 6 minutes of your life by reading my blog. sorry, there's no refunds. and if you are thinking of cursing/scolding/swearing at/gossipping about me, please do so on the tagboard. :) thanks! :D KICKED ASS AT 1/13/2008 01:06:00 AM.
Movie Review on Alien vs Predator III'm gonna start off blogging in the new year with a movie review!If you ever wondered what movie could be worse than curse of the golden crysanthemum (check previous blog post), Alien vs. Predator I would be it. If you ever wondered what movie could be worse than Alien vs. Predator I (check the movie out.), Alien vs. Predator II would be the ONE. So, i'd give the movie a rating of 0.0000000000000001^99999999999999999 upon 5 popcorns, 5 being the best show ever made in history, and 1 being the show i'll never watch during history lesson. top ten reasons why you shouldn't watch alien vs. predator II: 10: there is no plot, just mindless killing, even south park has mindless killing WITH a plot. 9: there is minimal/no character buildup. when i thought that the character in the story won't die because i got to know a little about the character, 5 minutes later, the alien/predator kills him/her. you call that twist in the story, i call it being stupid. spoiler alert*: everyone in the city dies except for a few others who escaped because the government dropped a bomb on it. 8: everything happened in the night or in the sewers. night = poor lighting. it was so dark, for all i know, the alien and predator fighting are only taking a smoke in the show while the fighting sounds were heard. 7: oh, did i mention there's love in the plot? no? well, because there isn't. 6: oh, and did i mention there's elements of comedy in the plot? no? because there isn't. 5: i hate it when there was no subtitles for predator language.. what the hell did it say when it wanted to self-destruct? "tell my momma i love he..." boom* 4: a dog died in the show! (which is why i came to hate I Am Legend.. but at least that show had a plot) 3: if you are an alien, the show should have been rated R21, technically, aliens had sex with humans (pregnant ones too). 2: if you think the alien/predator hybrid would have inherited the superior genes of both sides, it would be smart enough to get the weapons of the predator it killed. but it didn't. so if you are looking for a spouse so that your kid can inherit the dimple on his/her cheek, don't bother. and the number 1 reason why you shouldn't watch alien vs predator II: there is no plot; i can't emphasize that enough. kids, it's not even worth downloading. KICKED ASS AT 1/05/2008 01:58:00 AM.
PETITION!!!To sign the petition to update altonesax.blogspot.com, click HERE!the need for entertainment (nfe) part of me did this, the author is not responsible for hair loss, sudden death, waste of time, pet died, toenail cracked or photo seizures caused by this blog post. you've been warned, k now go knock yourselves out. KICKED ASS AT 11/18/2007 03:04:00 AM. i'm SOOOOO lazy.. :D KICKED ASS AT 6/29/2007 12:46:00 AM.
blog inspiration #395eh so sorry lah, if you're me, you'd be drained out and have no more energy to blog. so there. hahahahaha....so to entertain yourselves visit these past entries and er, be patient? heh sorry lah. http://altonesax.blogspot.com/2004_11_21_archive.html http://altonesax.blogspot.com/2007_01_07_archive.html http://altonesax.blogspot.com/2006_11_19_archive.html http://altonesax.blogspot.com/2006_10_15_archive.html http://altonesax.blogspot.com/2006_11_26_archive.html http://altonesax.blogspot.com/2006_07_16_archive.html err... yahhhh... i'm so sorry!! will blog soon la.. don't emo ok? tag more! tag more! :) KICKED ASS AT 6/07/2007 12:31:00 AM.
blog inspiration #394with everyone suddenly asking me to blog... (SUDDENLY...)i shall blog. things from now will be random random random. randomness no. 1: bloggers' gathering. since everyone else ( the top 19 ) blogged about the gathering with more camwhored pictures than the 4 million smiles to welcome world bank to singapore last year, i shan't say more. except everyone else except me found it enjoyable. i found it hohum... WHY? NO ONE TALKED TO MEEEEEEEEE..... *emo* i need to become more sociable and start making pointless conversations and agreeable body languages. otherwise, my social circle will become a social dot. RANDOMNESS NO. 2: hair colour.. current hair state:  I'M GONNA DYE MY HAIR AGAIN... (warning camwhore ahead..) this time, what colour should i dye hm? red?  green?  white?  ash?  blonde?  or pink?  machiam..  hehehehehehe.. help me decide leh.. RANDOMNESS NO. 3: Ben Band Ben Jerry.  there you go! ben and jerry's gig at ben and jerry's. ;)  i need a new image as michelle said. NEXT STOP: ZAI STUDIOS. where everyone isi THAT ZAI.. :D more camwhored pics coming up. KICKED ASS AT 5/31/2007 11:55:00 PM.
blog inspiration #393if everyone's doing it, WHY NOT ME? :D Create your own Friend Test here KICKED ASS AT 5/21/2007 08:58:00 PM.
blog inspiration #392 - sublimal messages..HELLO! *vote for me* how have *vote for me* you been? *vote for me*i love *vote for me* ah bengs *vote for me* and ah lians *vote for me* cuz i think they're the coolest *vote for me* bunch of people *vote for me* on this planet! *vote for me* i hate people *vote for me* who use underhanded means *vote for me* in campaigns *vote for me* to rally for votes. *vote for me* they think that by *vote for me* toying with others' minds to *vote for me* suit them, they would be able to *vote for me* get the public to *vote for me* subconsciously support their *vote for me* cause. i think *vote for me* these people ought to *vote for me* burn in hell *vote for me* and suffer *vote* a slow and painful *for* death. *me* even ah bengs and ah lians *vote for me* don't do that, why *vote for me* should you, then? *vote for me* if you were to *vote for me* be running in the elections for *vote for me* a seat in the government*vote for me* in future, please *vote for me* do not use underhanded means *vote for me* and think that you would be able to *vote for me* get away with it, leaving no trace of *vote for me* evidence behind. i'll be watching you.. *vote for me* KICKED ASS AT 5/15/2007 08:04:00 PM.
blog inspiration #391let me do another entry of GONE ARE THE DAYS.. !!i think i did one post before.. can't remember already.. IT'S SO BLOODY LONG AGO! here goes.. 1) gone are the days when shows like ASIA BAGUS, gotcha, under one roof, masters of the sea, talentime used to rule channel 5. 2) gone are the days when channel 5 shows the irritating logo with singing: CHANNEL 5! WHERE IT ALL HAPPENS.... fivee... 3) gone are the days when titanic used to rule the box office. irritating "my heart will go on" was played everywhere we went, couples doing the "OH JACK I'M FLYING!". 4) gone are the days when proyo and bumblebee was cool. 5) gone are the days when power rangers were shown at 11am every saturday with rita repulsa and her pointed boobs screaming everywhere. 6) gone are the days when there were only 5 channels in our tv: channel 5, channel 8, channel 12 and the tv 1 and 2 provided by malaysia. 7) gone are the days when there was doraemon on tv 1. 8) gone are the days when barney the dinosaur wasn't gay YET. he was hip, cool, and happening. cuz you are special, special, everyone is special.... 9) gone are the days when we would put 20 cents into a machine, turn a dial and VOILA! a power ranger/dragonball card comes out! 10) gone are the days when CDIS (cirriculum development institute of singapore) used to show interesting programmes of our school lessons on tv 12 every morning from 8.30am 2pm. those who studied in the afternoon sessions always wake up to watch that. 11) gone are the days when pee wee's playhouse was cool. 12) gone are the days when pencil boxes have different buttons on them for different uses: sharpener, eraser holder, etc.. this was considered high tech. 13) gone are the days when macho mee, mamee, nutella was sold separately and they were goddam cheap. 14) gone are the days when yeo's slogan was "Yeo's: Leader of the Pack" 15) gone are the days when pagers were hip and cool 16) gone are the days when we could memorise most of our friends' phone numbers because there was no handphone, thus no lazy man's phone book. 17) gone are the days when singtel was called telecoms 18) gone are the days when transitlink cards were being used. flexible cards which you slot into the machine and press the amount u need and out comes a ticket! cool.... 19) gone are the days when bus stamps were used instead of concession nonsense from ez link cards. 20) gone are the days when "catching" in primary schools was fun. NOSTALGIC LA..... i wanna relive those good ol' days again! KICKED ASS AT 5/15/2007 11:25:00 AM.
blog inspiration #390THE LATEST UPDATE ON BLOGGER: oh well, at least they let me change font size now. :) YAY! anyway, ANNOUNCEMENT!! *aiseh! :)* SHOT will be playing at ben and jerry's at cathay cineplex (or whatever, the one beside plaza singapura lah.) on the 29th May *i love enlarging fonts and um... the other stuff!... my finances lah. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT!?* it'll most probably start at nine, if there's a change i'll let you know, ok? if you checked your calender, (i know i did), it's on a tuesday night, *WA LAU, WHO WILL COME?* BUT! 1) it's the school holidays! 2) it's the day after chinese o's! 3) there're CUTE ice cream girls! 4) there're CUTE guys playing! 5) Don't believe no. 4! 6) SERIOUSLY!!! so... COME OK? :) and eat ice cream there! *bnj,i hope you see this.. WHERE'S MY FREE ICE CREAM!?*   warning.. cheesiness ahead.. i warned you.. you had enough time to close this window already.  i warned you already hor. anyway! COME OK! KICKED ASS AT 5/13/2007 10:59:00 AM. |
ME hi, i'm ben, you can call me ben, ben tan, benjamin tan, choc god, whatever.. just don't call me suzy. i'm your not-so-average guy next door (if you really are my neighbour), otherwise i'm just your not-so-average guy. i'm fascinated with ah bengs and their ability to survive in the world right here right now. if i have the money and time and an ah beng, i'll conduct a series of tests and experiments to see how they do it. don't you wanna know too? BY GEORGE... OTHER MEs. cheap shoes!! vic paul miss phua jocheben jasmine beckie isabelle germaine joy gay ben yo. manuel mark camilia cat sophie isa rach incredible tales.. of xiaoming do you like to talk cock? blogger GREETINGS.. BUAY PAISEH AH 
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